( Yum, yum! )

( Other stuff )

And to the main thing, birthday goodies!

These lovelies are from Stitch & Stash's Birthday Thread Exchange and even though only one skein of special floss is required some participants seem to enjoy pampering other participants... not that I would mind.
These are the ones which have come to date and there's threads from the Ozark Sampler, The Dye is Cast, Kate's Kloths, Carrie's Creations, Needlepaints, Dragon Floss... and I'm swimming in purple floss! (Check this card, stylish or what?)
I also got a chart with Ozark Sampler threads which would be just the thing for a biscornu (actually I have already decided which Ozark's thread I'd use for it..).

Thank you Sheila, Jayne and Helen! And big thank you to everyone who has wished me a happy birthday!

To make it even better... I know there's more birthday related goodness to come!

Otherwise

I have got year older peacefully (with my current physical state (even sweeping the kitchen floor is too much...) that is the only way). I spent the morning by playing with colour combinations for the B1g S3kr1t D3s1gn, we got the futon assembled (it's already in use...) with my mother (it took four hours from two persons with years of furniture assembling experience and a fully equipped hardware store's selection of woodworking tools) and I fed her with turkey and rice noodles with coconut cream sauce (with bell pepper and ginger)) as a thank you - she's still alive and actually liked the stuff, so it wasn't too bad.

Siamese cats, strange breed

I noticed something yesterday: Her Highness is a tonal meower. Instead of using different meow in different situations (like most cats do) she uses same meow, but changes the tone.
It kind of makes sense, she's from Siam anyway... (Thai is a tonal language.)

Happy birthday to me.

I've to admit that it has been heart warming to receive whole bunch of birthday wishes (Thank you all. They mean very much ^^). First ones (actually Angela was the first one few days back) I got from Wolfie, just when day changed from 2nd to 3rd. And what surprises me is that my father remembered my birthday, it hasn't happened in years - ~14 years if I'm not mistaken. (As usually he remembers it only because I remind of him.)
Talked about this with Wolfie and he had an interesting theory: people learn to appreciate those things they're afraid to lose when they're in danger to lose them.

According to my mother it rained when I was born... it was supposed to rain today, but it didn't, and minutes before dusk it looked like this:

( Landscape )

And as I'm fond of memories... how was my life year ago? Hmm, even situation is what it is I'd like to say that my life has gotten, if not better, more balanced at least.

Then to this day. As we know my plan was to go to PINN's... Failed. Why?
Because they don't have store in former WTC anymore!
But fear not! I went to bookstore to sooth my nerves and guess what I found? Ten points, cross stitch patterns! So, I spent ~2000 BHTs (equals 41 € or $52.5) on S.E.X.. *ahem* But they're that kind I can't get from anywhere else, so I had to.
And you know, those 'magazines' and booklets contain unbelievably many HUGE projects so I just purchased opportunity to have something to do for next five years.

For example this project doesn't look that big when you look at the finished item, but as you see, the design takes two huge pieces of paper to fit in (that pink thing is A4 sized magazine for a comparison):

( My haul )

As a curiosity I also seem to have few designs of king of Thailand. Which leads as nicely to... In addition being my birthday today is Monday, which is Yellow Day in Thailand.
Yellow is king's colour and as he was born in Monday... This is how streets look like (not everyone wears yellow in Mondays, but you can see surprisingly much of it in this spesific day) in Mondays (picture in question is from soi which goes behind this building)

( Yellowness )

Official quote of the day

"If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow."

Latest addition to family

Actually Wolfie gave (he's a sweetheart) this to me few days ago: my new baby, external ~11GB hard disk. ^^

( Turquoise cuteness )

Btw

1. Exploding feeling is gone. I just needed time alone, and concentrate on what's important... In other words: stitch Alter Echo.
2. New fruit in my list:

   ( Cuteness )

   Wolfie brought some jackfruit when he came back from work today.
   It smells and tastes like wine gums. ^^ Though it's too sweet to be consumed in bigger amounts. But what's important is that I haven't had any allergic reactions here from things I've never tasted before this trip. (I've had two reactions: one from popcorn in movie theatre and other in Japanese restaurant for reason X.)

And now... maybe some coffee, maybe a DVD on a player and off I stitch. Is there better way to celebrate your 27th?

This one seems to be one of those migraines which actually try to get me spend time in my bed... Dizziness is not fun, and in addition to that my head begun to hurt as I, well, laughed my hiney off because of certain mail I got.
Nothing against that though - laughing (nor that mail, very much opposite to be honest). Anything which lifts up my mood in day like this is always very welcomed.

While laying in bed I read latest Cross Stitcher (came today; and btw, Angela: Silkweaver parcel came too. Now I just need to get those dyes, and maybe I'll send something some day... ) and I found something I can agree with:

"Dear Lord, so far today I'm doing ok.
I haven't gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or self-indulgent.
I haven't whined, complained, cursed or eaten any chocolate.
But I'll be getting out of bed in a minute, I think I'll really need your help then!"

So, anyone in desperate need of some muscles? But then... it makes it easier, to actually have relatively good share of muscles in your body as

1. I wont look saggy
2. It means that part of that weight I have is actually weight of these 'Arnolds' of mine
3. And they'll get smaller during time -> decreases weight even more.

But then... I sense need to get new clothes soon. I also sense being even more "too femininely build" for designers (My waist is at least 6cms too narrow to "fit" with my hip, according to "fittings", even at this point. What will it be..?) which causes sense of panic.

Btw, three months from this moment I'm 27 years young/ old. Scary.

I should be sleeping, but I'm not. My mind wandered away and here I am, in the middle of the night.

My father (well, "father") has his 59th birthday today, which means that in next year he'll have his 60th birthday and not that long after it (couple of years) he'll retire.
And I feel so desperately old. My father is almost sixty, I'm almost thirty... both of my siblings are thirty something. And what have I achieved in this world? Nothing.

My brother has kids who'll be in their teens when our father retires... and even youngest of my brother's children will be in school when our father retires. And I'll be 30-something. I'll be 34 in that year my mother retires. 8 years from now.

Hardest thought seems to be this: "My eldest could be (pre-)teen in 2013. My eldest could be in school after few years from now." So, it's not the aging I'm worrying of. I'm worrying of not knowing what future brings.
For G-d's sake, I don't even know what'll happen tomorrow... or next week. There's no past nor future. (I think I'm having early 30-something crisis...) I don't or can't know will I ever be even able to carry a child.

And even if I got pregnant now and here (don't ask me how) my eldest would be sevenish when I'm 34. Ok, 34 is not exactly decrepit, my mother had her 30th birthday after she gave birth to me, but... Well, this is one of my usual anxiety attacks. There just have been so much talk about kids and infertility lately that my mind just can't take it.
It's possible that my mind could take it, but I don't want to even think about those issues. It'd be just too hard - but still I can't avoid those topics. They jump to my face all the time. And living in area where most residents have families doesn't help. I can't even look at kids currently.
Everything is fine as long as I'm able to avoid families, children, women who get pregnant when they want to...

They say that you never get more than you can carry with you... sometimes I doubt that. Sometimes I wonder what kind of deed I've done in my past life to get this. (Ok, there are worse fates than this) And if this would only affect to my life, but this affects to life of others. And I can't understand how Sonnenschein thinks that I'm so good when I can be complete asshole even in best of days.

Yes, I'm bit messed up so it's very possible that there's no sense in this... It was just so much easier few years back when I was younger and apparently more stupid.

In the end I'm worried of only one thing and that is will I ever be able to deliver little human to this world. (Yeah, there's always adoption...) Image of us. As, to be honest, I'm not sure is there any thought more 'divine' than being able to feel part of Sol in me, even it's only nine months. I wish I had words for it, but I'm only human...

Yes, I'm delirious. In some parts of world they call it 'love'.